I’m free for the first time in 22 years, and I couldn’t be happier.
My poor Kira was put to sleep on Monday, April 9th, just shy of her 17th birthday. She was sick and might have died on her own in a few days, but I couldn’t let her suffer. I had the weekend with her and I gave her as much love as possible. I also took loads of pictures of her. She was so photogenic.
That Monday morning, I woke up to 3 piles of shit on the floor, one I stepped in. I put her out in the backyard and she just walked around in circles. I had to go outside and carry her in, and she was shivering.
I was with her when she died and it was very sad but damn it, I’m free. I just can’t believe it. It feels so weird to be here alone. I keep looking for Kira or in a panic that I have to put her out. She was a lot of work this past year, and I don’t think she ever truly acclimatized to this new home.
I made a long list over the last few months of all the things I wanted to do after Kira dies. I’ve been planning trips for years, and now I can book them. I can’t believe I’m finally free to follow my dreams.
First dream is to travel to England in June to visit two close friends. One friend and I are going to Ireland for 6 days. We’re landing in Dublin, where we’ll spend a few days, then renting a car and driving south to Cork where we’ll fly back to England.
Another dream is to play in a poker tournament in Las Vegas. Through my poker site, I met a guy who lives in Kingston, Ontario. He’s been to Vegas over 30 times so he’s going to show me around Vegas; to all the poker tournaments and cheap places to eat. I’d love to spend a week just playing poker. And now we can plan that trip probably in October or November.
In September, a friend and I are going to Ottawa for a few days. I haven’t been there since I was a kid and it’s such a great city. Lots of great restaurants and museums. I’d like to go through the parliament buildings because I haven’t done that yet. It’s very beautiful inside.
In January, I’m going to an all inclusive resort in Jamaica for 9 days. I’m just going to sit in the sun with a book and a margarita. It will be so great having no responsibilities, and I won’t have to worry about anything but relaxing.
So, my life has changed 100% and I couldn’t be happier. It’s a new chapter in my life and I look forward to living it.
You probably don’t know this about me, but I love playing poker. I’ve been playing on a poker website called Pokerstars since 2005. I started out playing tournaments on free chips, but a few years later, I became brave enough to play for real money. Usually, the buy-in for the tourney was $1 or $2 so that was the most I could lose.
As I did better, I began to play tourneys for more money. The tourney buy-ins now were from $3.50 to $8. I prefer playing in a tournament because you pay one fee and that’s all you can lose. If you play in a cash game, you could lose all your money in one hand, and that was too dangerous a possibility for me. So, I only play tournaments.
But playing online has many disadvantages. You don’t see anyone’s face so hard to tell if they are bluffing. And people play the worst hands just for fun but then they win. (I was just playing in an online tourney and I had Ace/Queen. The other guy had 7/6. The flop came up Ace, 4, 7. He went all in. Turn card was a 6 and river a 7 so where I had a pair of Aces, he had pulled out a full house. Bad beat.)
A number of years ago, I played in some live tournaments hosted by a bar in East Hamilton. The buy-in was $60 and about 40 people played. I played in 3 tournaments and came second twice. Won $340 each time. Not bad eh?
Tells are a big thing in poker. I’ve got a pretty good poker face, and I practice putting on my Spock. But while playing at that bar, the guys told me to wear sunglasses while I play poker because my eyes sparkle when I’ve got a good hand.
For the past few years, I’ve been playing only online, but it does get old fast especially with those bad beats. I had to play live again. When I moved to Brantford, I knew there was a casino here and found out they held poker tournaments once a month. I scoped out the casino and found out where it was situated. But the problem was I didn’t know how long I would last in the tournament and I had Kira here at home. I couldn’t leave her all day.
Luckily, I found a woman who works part-time at my vet and she could come for the day. So with that settled, I called the Poker Room to find out how to register for a poker tournament. I was told to come to the casino to get a membership, which I finally did. The place is only a 10 minute drive from my house.
The Brantford Casino isn’t very big as far as casinos go. There’s only one restaurant (and it’s not buffet) and everything is on the second floor. There are about 10 blackjack tables. I saw lots of slots in another room and a couple of craps tables. There’s a large signing saying Poker Room, leading into another room in the back. It was quite quiet in there though a few tables were playing a cash poker game.
I registered to play in the Sunday, March 11th, tournament, and I played in it yesterday. I was very excited but yet terrified as well. I had never played in a casino nor played for such large stakes. I didn’t know what kind of people would be playing or even how to manage the chips. I had no idea what kind of bets to make.
But it was a challenge and I love taking on new and different challenges.
I arrived 30 minutes early to the Poker Room. I signed in and received my table and seat number. Of course, I had troubles finding my way around but the dealers were already sitting at the tables and they helped me. When I sat down, I admitted to the dealer that this was my first time and could she help me out with a few things. She was very kind and I felt better after talking to her.
The tournament began with 80 people at 11:00 a.m. There were 10 to a table. I noticed only two other women playing. When the play started, I was glad to receive some bad hands so I could watch the others play. I had to see what people bet and how they handled their cards. I was very nervous.
But over time and after winning a couple of hands, I felt better. It was so much fun. I really enjoyed playing poker and I didn’t want it to end. I know this is something I want to continue with because it brought me so much joy.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get many good hands and the blinds go up quite high so when I received a pair 6s, I went all in. I lost out in 38th place. Only the top 11 are paid. First place was $3,800.
So, not bad for my first time. I made a few mistakes so I look forward to redeeming myself. I feel much more confident to play now.
I’m arranging it with my dog sitter when she would be able to come over again. I want to play in another tourney tomorrow but will have to wait until next month. I had come alive for the first time in months. I really needed this opportunity when I could just live for myself, and not have to worry about the dog.
My dream is to play in Vegas. Never been there and dying to go. It would be fun playing poker every day for a week. One day.
My publisher is making the final proofread of my new novel, Where True Beauty Lies: A Modernization of the Book of Esther, from the Bible. A modern spin on a biblical tale… In the country of Baltia, jealousy, deceit, and murderous intention simmer beneath the surface. What will it take to keep the peace, and bring the citizens of Baltia together?
I’m meeting with the publisher on Thursday to see the book. So excited. Hopefully, it will be published and available on Amazon by the end of March.
I had an incredible experience last week. I woke up Tuesday morning around 4 a.m. and I couldn’t breathe. It took me a few moments to catch my breath. Also, I had sharp pains in my back. I thought I had a heart attack, but then I fell back to sleep. When I woke up, I was worried about my health.
My mother picked me up and drove me to the Brantford General Hospital. Since everyone knows me there (I volunteer in the emergency department every Wednesday), I was seen very quickly. A bed was found for me and I was immediately sent for blood tests, EKG and x-rays.
We didn’t have to wait too long for the doctor to tell me that I had a collapsed right lung. He asked if I had fallen? No. Was I hit in the chest? No. Have I been on an airplane? No. He then concluded that it was a spontaneous pneumothorax. These things can just happen for no reason.
He immediately took me into a ward and operated on me by sticking a tube in my chest. While under the effects of anaesthesia, I just couldn’t believe there was something wrong with me. It was quite a shock. As I woke up, they asked me if I was okay. I replied, “I’m just pissed there’s something wrong with me.”
The doctor patched me up well and sent me home, but every time I took a breath, I received a sharp pain in my chest. It was agonizing. I was put on Tylenol 3 with codeine but because I hadn’t been eating, I had terrible stomach pains so I didn’t sleep at all Tuesday night.
Mom and I returned to the hospital the next afternoon. It took me a long time to be seen, about two hours until I was put into a treatment room. I had another x-ray. Then I sent my mother home because the doctor said I would have a clamp placed on the tube and I had to wait 2 hours to be x-rayed again to make sure the lung expanded.
I waited 2-3 hours to be x-rayed again. Luckily, a young woman shared my space and we talked the whole time. She was sweet but suffering from terrible asthma. She kept me entertained.
Then I had an x-ray with the clamp and it seems everything was good so the doctor took the tube out. She was excellent and it didn’t hurt. But by this time, it was around 12:30 a.m. She wanted me to have another x-ray before I went home but there was only one x-ray technician on duty at that hour and she was busy in the wards. After about 30 minutes, she finally took me in.
Now, it’s 1:30 a.m. and I had been at the hospital since 2:30 p.m. I waited around for the doctor to tell me the results of the x-ray. I decided to go looking for a nurse and I told her I had to go home. I was exhausted. Finally saw the doctor and he said the lung was perfect so I dragged myself to the phone and called a taxi who had me home by 2 a.m.
When I got home, I filled my mom in with everything that had happened then I went to bed sleeping for 12 hours and I woke up at 2 p.m. the next day.
Everything went so fast that the few days are a blur. The doctors, nurses, volunteers and staff were excellent. Everyone was joking that I was on the wrong side and I just said, “I had to see how the other half lives.”
If you get sick, I recommend the Brantford General. I was treated extremely well and had a very positive experience for such a serious nature.
Here’s a link to the cover of my latest novel. Check it out and let me know what you think.
You might never expect to hear this, but there’s lots of love in the waiting room of the emergency department at the Brantford General Hospital. Every Wednesday from noon to 3:00 p.m., I volunteer there. I sit on a chair with my back to a wall facing the waiting room, while I watch people and wait for the nurses to send me on errands.
All types of people enter the waiting room and make their way over to Triage window to get help with a problem. Every ethnicity, sexual orientation, and age group is represented. Many adults bring in a sick parent, or parents with sick children, or friends, and many couples. Everyone has someone to support them through this difficult time.
Many parents come in carrying their sick child. They balance them in their arms while they retrieve their health card for the nurse. Constantly cuddling their child, they often take their temperature with a hand to the forehead. The children must feel love with all the kisses on their head and cheek.
Some carry their baby or young child around the waiting room hoping to make them comfortable and to keep them from making any noise. Or the mother takes out any amount of toys from their Mary Poppin’s size bag. It’s amazing how well behaved these children are and it’s wonderful to see how much they are loved.
The couples are very tender with each other. I often see a quick kiss or a tight hug. The sick women always rest their heads on their partner’s shoulder, and the sick men often have their wife’s arms around them. They are constantly worrying about their partner and they often solicit my help for a warm blanket or a glass of water.
No one likes to get sick, but it’s wonderful when you have someone in your corner, caring for you; and so much so, they spend 2-4 hours sitting with you in a hospital’s waiting room. To have someone who will watch and look out for you is special. People often come up to me to ask when the nurse will get to them. I just smile and hope the triage nurse calls their names soon.
One thing about all these people is they are always touching each other. Whether it be a hand to the back or on an arm or a leg. It’s lovely to see some adults take their parent’s hand to lead them to Triage while concern rests on their faces. I’ve witnessed many acts of love and kindness. In a place of such misery, it’s so life-affirming to see that people are truly loved, and it warms my heart.
The big news is that I’ve finished my 6th novel, entitled Where True Beauty Lies: Based on the Book of Esther (from the Bible). It is now with the publisher for proofreading.
After the president divorces his wife, he marries a young woman who not only changes his life but the lives of the people of Baltia. The story celebrates many galas, banquets and parties, and originated the Jewish festival of Purim.
We still have to decide on a cover, but I’ll let you know when it’s published and made available on Amazon.
I don’t know about you, but I love volunteering. My mother started me off when I was a kid at the local Canadian National Institute for the Blind (CNIB). I ended up volunteering at the CNIB for many years. It was a treatment centre and residence for children in their teens or 20s who were blind and developmentally handicapped.
I did many different jobs at the CNIB, such as, the pet corner where I would teach the children how to look after animals. A few wanted to get a cat and I’d help them with that. For a year, I travelled from one guy’s house to the SPCA (animal shelter) where he played with the cats while I supervised. I also was involved with some fund raising events.
No matter where I was, I would find somewhere to volunteer. While in university, I helped a blind woman with her classes mostly by reading her books and lessons so she could type them in Braille. I kept in touch with her for many years and was there when she received her guide dog. She never stopped smiling and it was beautiful to see her walk with her head held high.
When I moved to Brantford, and since I knew no one here, I thought it would be best for me to find some volunteer jobs. I signed up first with the Brantford General Hospital. I work in the emergency waiting room which is a lot of fun because it always changes. You’ll never know who you are going to meet and what will happen that day.
I also joined the volunteer team at the Grand River Community Health Centre. My first job was to interview all the volunteers and write their profiles. I enjoyed that so much and it also encouraged me to write. When I finished the 45 profiles, my new job became taking pictures of events and programs at the centre. I love taking photos so I’m loving this job. I also recently spent 7 hours compiling surveys for a staff member.
When I have a free afternoon, I go to the SPCA to hug the cats. I don’t want another cat (had to put down my 20 year old cat last year) but I do enjoy them so it’s fun to play with them. I definitely don’t look at the dogs. I don’t want any reason to get another. When Kira dies, I want to be free for a few years.
Volunteering is very important to me because it gets me out of the house. An author’s life is a lonely one since you work at home alone. I need a reason to be around people. Also, since I’m still new to Brantford, I need to meet the community.
But, of course, that satisfaction you receive when you’ve done something positive with your day is always a great feeling. My work is appreciated and many people say ‘thank you’ when I’ve helped them, which is always nice to hear.
We have to give more of ourselves to our community, making it a better place to live. What’s great about volunteering is you can volunteer anywhere and do anything that interests you. Also for young people, volunteering is essential to learn new skills and improve their abilities. I volunteered many places when I was without a job and sometimes those opportunities turned into paid work.
So, I encourage you to volunteer, if it’s possible. I know many people are very busy with their lives but, if you have the time, you should try it.
I love dogs. My parents adopted a Miniature Schnauzer when I was about 4 years old. I named him Muffin after my favourite character in my favourite show: Mr. Dressup. After Muffin, my parents adopted Hutch (a yellow lab), Maddie and then Christie (both golden retrievers). They were all great dogs.
For a year, I volunteered with the SPCA until it got too hard to leave the dogs in those little cages. Considered buying a farm and adopting all the dogs, but that was, of course, unrealistic. I have also worked at a kennel for a year, cleaning up lots of doggie poo, but I learned so much about the breeds.
In 2005, I decided to adopt my first dog, and I wanted a big one. One day, I was reading the classifieds and saw an ad giving away a puppy. I called the owner and she said Sheba was half lab and half poodle so I’m thinking a large dog.
When I got to her house, the owner was sitting on her front porch with little Sheba (what a terrible name for a dog) on a rope. I asked the woman about the dog and she told me she had never been taken on a walk, never in a car, never anywhere but the backyard. At a year old, she still wasn’t even house broken. I looked at her and her ribs were showing.
I realized I couldn’t leave her with this woman so I took her home and immediately changed her name to Kira.
The rope around Kira’s neck was so worn that it took 10 minutes to cut it off. I took her for a walk at Churchill Park, Westdale, Hamilton, Ontario. The park has a path through the woods with hills on either side so I thought this would be a good place to take Kira. When we got there, I let Kira off the leash. Poor thing thought she had died and gone to heaven. She has never strayed from me.
Kira is now 16½. She will be 17 in May. She is deaf and blind so can’t be taken for walks anymore. She loves to eat but is still trim at about 25 pounds. Because of her white and tan colouring, she doesn’t look her age, but she is a lot of work now.
I have to stay up until at least 11 p.m. to let Kira out. I have to wait that long because she usually will poo by then. I have to get up at 7 a.m. to put her out before she messes in the house, which, unfortunately, happens often.
I love Kira more than life itself, but I need to get away on a vacation. The first place I’d like to go is to an all inclusive somewhere in the Caribbean; I don’t care where. I just want to sit on a beach with a good book and a margarita, but I can’t go until Kira dies. She’s just too much work for my mother or anyone else.
When Kira dies, I’m going to take a break from pets to travel for a few years. If I miss having a dog, I can foster one for a few weeks, then give it back and travel. After I’ve been everywhere I want to go, I will get another dog, probably a golden retriever from Golden Rescue.
So, in the meantime, I’m looking after my sweet old dog, giving her as much love as possible.
It’s about time I wrote to let you know what’s happening in my life.
In December of 2016, I moved from hell to heaven. My life was littered with negatives. There was nothing positive about my life other than I was writing and self-publishing novels. I was in a horrible position with a heavy debt and no way to pay it back. Selling my house was my only option.
At first, I was dead against selling it but, when I realized it would solve all my problems, I was gung-ho. Selling it was the best decision I ever could have made. I paid off my loan so now I have no debts and I’m living off the money from the sale.
I moved to a town of 92,000 called Brantford; the home of Wayne Gretsky (and his parents still live here). It’s a lovely place with everything you could ever want, and it only takes 15 minutes to get across town.
To get out and keep busy, I have 3 volunteer jobs. One is every Wednesday at the hospital in the emergency waiting room. I help people find their loved one in emergency, do errands for the nurses and deliver lunch trays. I love volunteering there because it is so opposite from anything I’ve ever done, and I get to meet a lot of really nice people. It’s amazing how friendly people are in this city.
At the community centre, I was hired to interview all the volunteers and write their profiles. It took me 5-6 months but I got through them writing about 45 profiles. Now they have me taking pictures of events and programs at the centre.
My third volunteer job is with the SPCA (animal shelter). I go hug and play with the cats. I had a wonderful cat but I had to put her down last year. It killed me but when I got home from the vet’s, I realized I didn’t have to clean a litter box again. I was thrilled. So I can play with the cats with absolutely no desire to adopt one. Looking after my old dog Kira is enough work for me.
While writing those profiles, I became inspired again to write. I hadn’t written in almost a year because of all the negative stress in my life. I had 2 female friends who were very negative and a boyfriend who made me more miserable than happy. I had to get away from these people and find a better place to live, and I found Brantford.
Living here has changed my life so much for the better. I love where I’m living. It’s a very nice house in a very quiet and safe neighbourhood. I just have to drive to the top of my street, turn left and I can drive straight to Hamilton to visit my mother.
I have met some wonderful people through my volunteering. I’m getting out and having fun. They are all positive, happy people who make me smile and enjoy life. I’m so involved with this city and its many events. I have never been so busy.
But the best thing is, I’m writing again. I have just finished my 6th novel entitled, Where True Beauty Lies: A Modernization of the Book of Esther. It’s based on the biblical book but my main characters are the President Thomas Edmonds and Esther is Katie in my novel.
The novel is with my proofreading editor now. I’ll get it back in November. Then I’ll be passing it off to 2 good friends who will read it over and try and find any spelling mistake or typo we all missed. Once all the corrections have been made, I will be publishing it.
For those of you who have read That Truthful Place, I’m happy to advise that I’m now working on the sequel. It’s just flowing out of me. If you liked star trek, you’ll like this book. I always wanted to write a star trek episode so this is my chance.
I hope you are all doing well and having fun. Being happy makes a huge difference in your life especially when everything is positive, exciting and challenging. I’m in a better place now than I have in years. Life couldn’t be better.
Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written to you, but life has been in the way.
On December 7th, I moved to a different city 40 minutes away from where I lived. I started 2 new volunteer jobs. And my father has been hospital.
The move was great. Didn’t realize how unhappy I was until I moved. Decided to change to a different city so I could begin a new life with new adventures. I picked Brantford and found a wonderful house. I am so much happier here and Kira loves the big backyard.
Since I know no one here, the best thing I could do was volunteer. I work at the Brantford General Hospital in the ER (emergency) waiting room. I go once a week for 3 hours. (Noon to 3 pm on Wednesdays.) It’s a wonderful opportunity. I don’t do much but help people find their loved one, bring people water or chairs, do errands for the nurses, and bring people lunch.
But these simple tasks are appreciated. Every time I have to interact with someone and help them in some way, they give me a smile and say thank you. That’s all I need and I’m so glad to help. I do come home exhausted but was great to get out of the house.
And I found the perfect volunteer opportunity with the Grand Rivers Community Health Centre. My job is to interview all 80 volunteers and write their profile. The Centre will use them for newsletters and on their website. Talk about a great opportunity for me eh? I’m really enjoying interviewing and meeting everyone.
Then there was my father who is 84 with pneumonia. The doctors and nurses had us scared because they said he was going to die in hours or days. Well he didn’t die but his lungs are gone. He has to remain on oxygen for the rest of his life. While he was in hospital, mom was going for lunch and then for dinner to help him. I returned to Hamilton for a few days and stayed with my mom to help. I went in for dinner so she didn’t have to go in twice.
He’s now in a rehab facility in a good retirement home. It’s much easier and closer for mom. He is well taken care of there so he doesn’t need my mother more than once a day for assorted things. He is much better but his progress is slow. He is there for at least 3 months. After that? Who knows.
So as you can see, I’ve been busy. I’ve missed writing to you but just haven’t felt like writing. I started a few blogs but never finished them. My 7th novel is on chapter 13. I know what I want to write but I just don’t feel like writing. I’m kind of burnt out after writing and publishing 6 books in 3 years.
So here I am writing to you wondering if you’ve missed my blogs or wondering what’s happening in my life.
Would you like to hear more?
Any way, I’m very happy now. I love my new house and it’s in a great, quiet neighbourhood. Met a few of the neighbours and they are lovely people. Brantford is a town of 94,000 so everything is close. I’m enjoying exploring the area and finding places and stores.
I hope you’ve noticed that I haven’t been blogging or active on the various necessary sites. I’m sorry. I hope you’ve missed my words. I've missed talking to you.
Life has taken over. There is so much going on. I must sell my home and I want to move to a different town but I’m having problems finding a suitable home to rent. Many people seem interested in living in that town so good places are dear.
And lots to do when you decide to move. Luckily, I’ve moved many times in my life so it’s old hat to me. Between the time I left my parents’ house at 20 until the present day, I’ve lived in around 30 different houses or apartments. I know how to move.
Typically, I’m a very organized person. I love everything in order and to plan my life. I work out all the details in advance so there’s no stress. I’m also an avid packer and I enjoy going through my belongings. I spent the weekend going through boxes of old papers, bills, and documents. One box had papers from 2004. About time I got to it eh?
I guess I’m a little burnt out from writing. I self-published 5 novels in 2 years. That’s a lot of work. I’m just not interested in writing. I have a new novel (a modernization of the Book of Esther from the Bible). I’m on chapter 13. I know what I want to write but I just can’t seen to get the words flowing.
This blog is the first thing I’ve been able to write in months. I hope you can understand my predicament. I’m hoping once I move, I’ll begin writing again.
If it weren’t for movies, I would have gone insane years ago. They are my muse, my inspiration and my focus. As soon as I wake up, I begin my day with a movie. I pick one according to my mood. I always have one playing in the background even when I write. Most movies I have seen many times so I don’t have to watch to follow it.
I can lift up my eyes at any point and watch the TV screen providing a break from the concentration. I need the background noise to help me get through the day. Writing can be a lonely career and the dog doesn’t speak English. I’ve tried to teach her but she’s stubborn.
Movies help me through every mood. I have collected over 300 DVDs as well as subscribing to the movie channels and Netflix therefore lots of choices. I can easily find a movie to match any mood I’m in. And I have lots of moods.
My favourite movies are the Shawshank Redemption, Hunt for Red October, Usual Suspects and Apollo 13. I enjoy movies with a mostly male cast. These are great movies and can easily inspire me to write. I also love comedy and enjoy Kevin Kline, Jim Carrey and Martin Lawrence movies.
Tom Hanks is my favourite actor. I’ve been watching him ever since Bosom Buddies, a comedic series beginning his career. I’ve seen most of his movies as well as the movies of Meryl Streep. She is my favourite actress. She’s just brilliant and can imitate anyone.
If I had a chance, I would thank all the directors, actors and crew for making movies. Thank them for helping me through life and giving me the strength to carry on.